I wrote this poem back in the summer of 2007 in lieu of feelings and emotions brought on by years of silence. My hope is that more individuals will be inspired to write from their soul and let go of the pain and suffering.
Where’s My Dear Family Gone?By Your Loving Daughter Christine
Time seemed infinite—alone and dark,
Until the day—July 10th, 1970 sparked.
They laid me down—between my two brothers,
While holding hands and smiling up at each other.
She was thrilled to have had me at last—so it seemed,
Her little baby girl was now here—she beamed!
They spoiled me rotten—gave me all that they could,
But in the end, it didn’t matter as they both thought it would.
The recitals, Girl Scouts—birthday party fun,
My parents were clueless to what had begun.
With them always gone—working five days a week,
It was easy for brother to steal or to sneak.
I don’t really know—how he got the desire,
Was he possibly touched by a secret admire?
This went on for a while—mostly at night,
Long after our parents were clear out of sight.
Sometimes he would visit—right after school,
He was six years older—I was his fool.
It’s hard to put into words how I felt,
What happened at eight—that was it—fate was dealt.
My innocence gone—in a blink of an eye
The world opened up—I wished I could die.
If that wasn’t enough—to bare all alone,
Several years later—the rape cut to the bone.
Conditioned in ways—that psyches only tell,
“Inner strength works miraculously well.”
I’ve moved on with life—married a man two years older,
My high school sweetheart—the one who let me cry on his shoulder.
He’s truly my hero—my number one fan,
Supporting me always—lending his hand.
I’m tearful though—for my dear Mom and Dad,
Who must wrestle with blame and guilt—it’s too bad.
They don’t call anymore or write through the mail,
It’s been almost a decade—I guess only time will tell~
The same goes for my two older brothers—whom I think of quite often,
The oldest not knowing—that he’s been forgiven.
I know in my heart—they think of me too,
But they don’t answer my calls—what more can I do?
It’s hard to refrain or to keep holding on,
When I know they’re still out there.
Where has my dear family gone?