I wrote this poem back in the summer of 2007 in lieu of feelings and emotions brought on by years of silence. My hope is that more individuals will be inspired to write from their soul and let go of the pain and suffering.
Where’s My Dear Family Gone?By Your Loving Daughter Christine
Time seemed infinite—alone and dark,
Until the day—July 10th, 1970 sparked.
They laid me down—between my two brothers,
While holding hands and smiling up at each other.
She was thrilled to have had me at last—so it seemed,
Her little baby girl was now here—she beamed!
They spoiled me rotten—gave me all that they could,
But in the end, it didn’t matter as they both thought it would.
The recitals, Girl Scouts—birthday party fun,
My parents were clueless to what had begun.
With them always gone—working five days a week,
It was easy for brother to steal or to sneak.
I don’t really know—how he got the desire,
Was he possibly touched by a secret admire?
This went on for a while—mostly at night,
Long after our parents were clear out of sight.
Sometimes he would visit—right after school,
He was six years older—I was his fool.
It’s hard to put into words how I felt,
What happened at eight—that was it—fate was dealt.
My innocence gone—in a blink of an eye
The world opened up—I wished I could die.
If that wasn’t enough—to bare all alone,
Several years later—the rape cut to the bone.
Conditioned in ways—that psyches only tell,
“Inner strength works miraculously well.”
I’ve moved on with life—married a man two years older,
My high school sweetheart—the one who let me cry on his shoulder.
He’s truly my hero—my number one fan,
Supporting me always—lending his hand.
I’m tearful though—for my dear Mom and Dad,
Who must wrestle with blame and guilt—it’s too bad.
They don’t call anymore or write through the mail,
It’s been almost a decade—I guess only time will tell~
The same goes for my two older brothers—whom I think of quite often,
The oldest not knowing—that he’s been forgiven.
I know in my heart—they think of me too,
But they don’t answer my calls—what more can I do?
It’s hard to refrain or to keep holding on,
When I know they’re still out there.
Where has my dear family gone?
Friday, October 3, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir "This Is How It Feels To Be Free"
Praise Ye The Lord.
What a wonderfull thing it is to be FREE!!
Thankyou Jesus. In You are ALL Blessings!
Lord Jesus, You are sooooo WORTHY to be PRAISED!
Bless Your Name.
There is a wall that has been standing, since the day that Adam fell.
Sin is where it started, sin is why it held.
Speaking as a prisoner, who was there and lived to tell, I remember how it felt.
I could here the sound of freedom, like a distant voice it called.
And beckoned me to follow, where I had never gone.
Though my heart was willing, I just stood there at the wall.
Praying somehow it would fall.
But in a cross I found a doorway, and a hand that held a keys.
When the chains fell at my feet, for the first time I could see.
This is how it feels to be free, this is what it means to know that, I AM FORGIVEN!
This is how it feels to be free, to see that life can be more than I imagined.
This is how it feels to be free yeeeaah.
This is how it feels to be free yeeeaah.
There are days when I'm reminded of the prison I was in.
Like a living nightmare, burning deep within.
I can feel the voice of evil, I can hear the call of sin, but I won't go back again.
See once I tasted freedom, and the chains could bind no more.
Mercy gave me wings to fly, like an eagle I can soar.
This is how it feels to be free, this is what it means to know that, I AM FORGIVEN!
This is how it feels to be free, to see that life can be more than I imagined.
This is how it feels to be free yeeeaah.
This is how it feels to be free yeeeaah.
Somewhere there's a prison where the chain still bind.
There but for the Grace of God, those walls could still be mine.
So for all the captives I say!!!!
This is how it feels to be free, this is what it means to know that I AM FORGIVEN!
This is how it feels to be free, to see that life can be more than I imagined.
This is how it feels to be free yeah.
This is how it feels to be free.
This is what it means to know that I AM FORGIVEN!
This is how it feels to be free, to see that life can be more than I imagined.
This is how it feels to be free yeah.
This is how it feels to be free, yeah.
This is how it feels to be free, yeah.
This is how it feels to be free.
Praise Ye The Lord.
What a wonderfull thing it is to be FREE!!
Thankyou Jesus. In You are ALL Blessings!
Lord Jesus, You are sooooo WORTHY to be PRAISED!
Bless Your Name.
There is a wall that has been standing, since the day that Adam fell.
Sin is where it started, sin is why it held.
Speaking as a prisoner, who was there and lived to tell, I remember how it felt.
I could here the sound of freedom, like a distant voice it called.
And beckoned me to follow, where I had never gone.
Though my heart was willing, I just stood there at the wall.
Praying somehow it would fall.
But in a cross I found a doorway, and a hand that held a keys.
When the chains fell at my feet, for the first time I could see.
This is how it feels to be free, this is what it means to know that, I AM FORGIVEN!
This is how it feels to be free, to see that life can be more than I imagined.
This is how it feels to be free yeeeaah.
This is how it feels to be free yeeeaah.
There are days when I'm reminded of the prison I was in.
Like a living nightmare, burning deep within.
I can feel the voice of evil, I can hear the call of sin, but I won't go back again.
See once I tasted freedom, and the chains could bind no more.
Mercy gave me wings to fly, like an eagle I can soar.
This is how it feels to be free, this is what it means to know that, I AM FORGIVEN!
This is how it feels to be free, to see that life can be more than I imagined.
This is how it feels to be free yeeeaah.
This is how it feels to be free yeeeaah.
Somewhere there's a prison where the chain still bind.
There but for the Grace of God, those walls could still be mine.
So for all the captives I say!!!!
This is how it feels to be free, this is what it means to know that I AM FORGIVEN!
This is how it feels to be free, to see that life can be more than I imagined.
This is how it feels to be free yeah.
This is how it feels to be free.
This is what it means to know that I AM FORGIVEN!
This is how it feels to be free, to see that life can be more than I imagined.
This is how it feels to be free yeah.
This is how it feels to be free, yeah.
This is how it feels to be free, yeah.
This is how it feels to be free.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Writing from the soul...
Over the past several years I've wanted to begin writing about my past in hopes that I could get "my story" out so it might be of help to someone else who may be struggling with the same events I encountered growing up, especially the younger generation. When I picked up a book titled..."Writing for the Soul" I knew it was time to start.
"In Writing for the Soul, best-selling author Jerry B. Jenkins takes you on a personal and inspiring journey, imparting experience and wisdom gained from his impressive writing career. Unknown in his early days, Jenkins persisted in his passion to write, and his story reveals the rewards that can come to writers who put in the hard work and keep their priorities straight. Jenkins shares the honest and straightforward truth about how to find writing success and why the journey is a continuous one."
I'll be sharing bits and pieces of my childhood that will reflect the more painful side only because these are the experiences that I feel are most important to the audience I'm wanting to direct. I'm a person who tends to be optimistic and look at the "brighter" side of things. I feel in order for me to bring closure and positive significance to the unfortunate and tragic events that happened early on in my life, I need to reach out to those who are young and make them aware of just how vulnerable they are to society and even more, to those closest to them.
My tragic journey of unfortunate events begins at an early age, somewhere around the age of 6. The image of me crammed between the side of my twin bed and wall have forever left their mark imbedded in a memory I can't shake. I mentioned earlier that I will be sharing "bits and pieces", (I mean this literally) due to the many years of blocking out years of abuse (verbal and sexual). I've learned this, among many other pieces to the unfolding of my character and emotional scaring, through therapy and counseling. The severity of the abuse took a heavy toll on my memory bank...in some ways I would like to think of it as a blessing in disguise, but then again, it would make telling my story all the more easier. However, I'm going to do the best that I can to support the details of this unfortunate and emotional journey through time.
"In Writing for the Soul, best-selling author Jerry B. Jenkins takes you on a personal and inspiring journey, imparting experience and wisdom gained from his impressive writing career. Unknown in his early days, Jenkins persisted in his passion to write, and his story reveals the rewards that can come to writers who put in the hard work and keep their priorities straight. Jenkins shares the honest and straightforward truth about how to find writing success and why the journey is a continuous one."
I'll be sharing bits and pieces of my childhood that will reflect the more painful side only because these are the experiences that I feel are most important to the audience I'm wanting to direct. I'm a person who tends to be optimistic and look at the "brighter" side of things. I feel in order for me to bring closure and positive significance to the unfortunate and tragic events that happened early on in my life, I need to reach out to those who are young and make them aware of just how vulnerable they are to society and even more, to those closest to them.
My tragic journey of unfortunate events begins at an early age, somewhere around the age of 6. The image of me crammed between the side of my twin bed and wall have forever left their mark imbedded in a memory I can't shake. I mentioned earlier that I will be sharing "bits and pieces", (I mean this literally) due to the many years of blocking out years of abuse (verbal and sexual). I've learned this, among many other pieces to the unfolding of my character and emotional scaring, through therapy and counseling. The severity of the abuse took a heavy toll on my memory bank...in some ways I would like to think of it as a blessing in disguise, but then again, it would make telling my story all the more easier. However, I'm going to do the best that I can to support the details of this unfortunate and emotional journey through time.
Monday, September 22, 2008
The River
I sang this song during a talent show several years back in front of the entire school where I work and support kids with learning disabilities as well as a motivational coach for young teens. I believe that it's extremely crucial to reach out to the younger generation and express the importance of having dreams and being the best you can be!
The River
Written by: Garth Brooks, Victoria Shaw
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You know a dream is like a river
Ever changin' as it flows
And a dreamer's just a vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores.. and
I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide.. yes
I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
And there's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll take some falls
But with the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all.. yes
I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Yes, I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
'Til the river runs dry
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
